Okay, Goils and Ghouls, it’s time to sing with complete withering mockery of He Who Shall Not Be Named (no, we don’t imply Hastur the Unspeakable, or Cthulhu however shut, Lovecraft followers!)
We’ll attempt to not vex your wit with ranting too hysterical, however you will admit it is fairly a match of cute charades chimerical!
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(See and listen to this short clip to assessment the melody briefly, then recite at your personal tempo:)
I Am The Very Mannequin of a Trendy Main Legal
- I’m the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony,
- I’ve damaged each legislation it is true, it hardly is subliminal;
- Each time referred to as on to account for issues juridical,
- I’ve my attorneys lie and mount a protection synthetic.
- I do know our nation’s wars though I could also be ahistorical,
- From Lexington to WWII, it is not categorical.
- So what if I combine jets and carts from Gettysburg to D-Day?
- The best factor apart from my farts the information can air is Me-Day!
- I am very effectively acquainted, too, with issues of the numbers;
- Like when a on line casino falls via, I blame it on the plumbers.
- I am going proper to the banks and ask them for an help,
- To which they are saying “no thanks,” the bastards, “that is an excessive amount of ‘Donald Danger’. “
- To steal the present I will have my bros rumble and swarm the voting websites,
- And ask AGs for ballots please to flip some rolls election night time.
- Briefly, my respect for the legislation is microscopic, minimal:
- I’m the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony!
Refrain: “He’s the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony!”
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- I don’t know a lot historical past, I actually didn’t learn so much,
- I barely reply questions, and I don’t assure so much;
- I dismiss what individuals say, I manufacture my very own info
- And make my critics go away with fabricated false assaults!
- I can’t inform truth from fiction, my reminiscence is tribal,
- I simply make up my very own diction and skim upside-down Bibles.
- I’ve perverse predilections for actions libidinal,
- I’m the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony!
Refrain: “He’s the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony!”
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- I couldn’t inform a missile from a clean athletic javelin,
- With nuclear issues fissile, my thoughts would begin unravelin’,
- I let others thoughts all that, after which I wish to boast so much,
- If I did the whole lot I threatened, effectively you’d all be toast so much!
- I let my goonsquads intestine the funds of applications which are wanted,
- After which when referred to as out by the courts I say it’s all deleted;
- My lackeys are enacting legal guidelines to public well being inimical,
- I’m letting corporations go nuts and pump out each chemical!
- I’m having all my in-laws run my grifting overseas coverage,
- It’s simply such nepotistic enjoyable, an anti-Hatch Act odyssey;
- I’ve acquired motels below the solar, all baking in hypocrisy,
- As all my Secretaries gun for ending all democracy!
- Airplanes, entire nations, I need extra, my graft shouldn’t be a shy one,
- Blockchain IPOs galore, you actually must attempt one;
- I run the nation like a mob boss, it is hardly unique,
- I’m the very mannequin of a significant fashionable felony!
Refrain: “He’s the very mannequin of a significant fashionable felony!”
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Galleria Arachis (Ye Olde Peanut Gallery) continues the narration:
- Alexander, Pericles, Hannibal and Caesar,
- Genghis Khan, Napoleon, and previous Nebuchadnezzar
- Are who he compares himself to, in annals uninvited
- Though really, in the event that they knew, they’d be lower than delighted.
- He is by no means worn a pith helmet nor commandeered a battery,
- And he is the most important cretin but by way of world technique!
- He will get off on phony polls, Fox Information-enumerated ones;
- Of all of the tyrants on the rolls, he boasts, “I’m the best one!”
- However between him and historic kings, a salient truth is differing,
- As our smartest analysts clarify, to anybody who’s listening:
- To wit, whereas all these tyrant captains kind of have been brainiacs,
- This man is only a weirdly random homicidal maniac!
Refrain: “He’s only a weirdly random homicidal maniac!
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Our insipid Interlocutor returns:
“For my army information although, I am loopy and adventury,
I will in all probability destroy us all starting of the century;
I give the press corps mushy objectives which are fairly obscure and liminal,
I’m the very mannequin of a contemporary main felony!”
Refrain:
“He’s the Very Mannequin of a Trendy Main Legal!”
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Now for a whole palate cleanser, how about this basic film model with Linda Ronstadt and Angela Lansbury?:
Might we be led by generals who know what’s a hypotenuse, and never some freakshow carny barker who occurs to be on the free! 😅
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