Independence is a outstanding idea. It’s a hope, it’s a dream, it’s a necessity. It resembles the enjoyment of experiencing a panoramic view on the finish of a mountain hike. It’s a good factor. It’s, proper? It needs to be. Folks, books, films, grandparents, the bumper stickers, all of them say it’s; that it’s definitely worth the combat, the exhausting work, the trouble.
I don’t assume so.
Once I wakened after the automobile accident that rendered me paralyzed from the neck down, the one factor that ever mattered was to get again to life. To realize that ever-so-glorified independence. I may barely survive an hour without having help from another person. Being impartial was not a selection; it was a necessity. I didn’t simply need it; I wanted it. I relearned methods to kind. How one can put garments on. How one can maintain a spoon. How one can switch out and in of my wheelchair. The primary time I did these issues with none help, it felt nice. Eleven years later, it nonetheless feels nice.
Despite the fact that these items take me drastically extra time than anybody with out my limitations, I get pleasure from the sensation of being impartial. Not having to depend on another person is an emotion synonymous with that of freedom.
Forty-two claps. Teary eyes. Congratulatory but pitiful faces.
However does being “impartial” imply one is not disabled? No. For many disabled folks, being impartial is to learn to do their on a regular basis actions with minimal help. Understanding methods to put footwear on doesn’t imply they might know methods to put any footwear on. And it definitely doesn’t imply they’ll now do the whole lot else. These overly reductive conclusions, particularly when somebody defies the stereotypical picture of a disabled particular person, are precisely the place the issue begins.
The much less disabled one seems to be, the extra able-bodied one is perceived. The extra impartial one presents to be, the extra folks neglect one has a incapacity. Not to mention receiving a pat on the again, one is assumed to have capabilities past what’s bodily attainable. Final-minute sick leaves and cancellations, even after prolonged (and legally pointless) disclosures of disabilities, are thought-about “gaming the system” and “enjoying the incapacity card.” The efficiency evaluations from the uncrowned guardians of company insurance policies, based mostly on their inherently goal nature, penalize one as a result of being impartial establishes a baseline comparator of an able-bodied particular person and never of a disabled particular person. Adjustments of plan and late exhibits take a status hit as a result of they find yourself inflicting gentle inconvenience to others. And sadly, these examples are solely the tip of the iceberg. However sufficient to convey a whole Titanic down.
The issue is systemic. Lack of publicity to disabled folks? A pattern measurement of roughly one? (Oh, I had a high-school mate who was “in” a wheelchair, and he or she may eat her meals by herself. Why can’t you?) Organizational constructions and insurance policies designed with the demographic of able-bodied folks in thoughts? Illiteracy concerning disabilities? Band-aid resolution mindset? The checklist goes on, with a capitalized “Sure” subsequent to every.
Independence is a two-edged sword. It’s troublesome to get pleasure from it when it’s questionable whether or not its benefits outweigh the effort and time spent in its pursuit. If you happen to requested me, I wouldn’t know which one is best: the exhausting pursuit of independence after which discovering myself in a spot the place I’ve to clarify my disabilities, or being depending on others and benefiting from folks’s savior complexes. Someday, independence will imply for disabled folks what it means to these with out disabilities.
I’m not a nihilist. But.