KANSAS CITY, MO—Rising more and more alarmed as she stared at her boyfriend Travis Kelce’s upcoming 2024 schedule, a horrified Taylor Swift reportedly realized for the primary time Friday that soccer occurs yearly. “So soccer…that’s not only a factor Travis did final fall for a few months—that’s one thing that’s going to occur repeatedly?” stated a wincing, shuddering Swift, who added that she had assumed she would by no means once more want to decorate up in Chiefs merchandise, purchase out stadium packing containers, or hand around in Kansas Metropolis after Kelce and his workforce gained the Tremendous Bowl final 12 months. “Oh wow. I assumed Brittany Mahomes was joking when she stated she’d see me once more quickly. What number of video games are there this 12 months? 17? And that’s not counting the playoffs. Hoo boy. Guess I higher begin scheduling extra stops on the Eras tour.” At press time, Swift was seen googling how lengthy it took for CTE to kick in and finish a soccer participant’s profession perpetually.
