Haliey Welch, a 21-year-old from Tennessee, was dubbed the “Hawk Tuah” lady after showing in a viral video wherein she used onomatopoeia to explain an oral intercourse tip. The Onion sat down with Welch to debate social media, fame, and the subsequent steps for her profession.
The Onion: What different noises are you able to make?
Welch: Chugga-chugga choo-choo!
The Onion: How lengthy do you count on your fame to final?
Welch: On the very least, till my U-Haul will get to L.A.
The Onion: Are you able to clarify what you meant by “spit on that thang”?
Welch: It’s a reference to the ritualized humiliation of the corpses of fascist dictator Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci by a Milanese mob, who mocked and spat on their useless our bodies within the Piazzale Loreto.
The Onion: How a lot “Hawk Tuah” merchandise have you ever offered up to now?
Welch: Answering that will solely depress everybody.
The Onion: What do you suppose individuals can be shocked to find out about you?
Welch: I’ve solely ever seen one penis, and I used to be so frightened by it, I panicked and smashed it with a strong brass paper weight.
The Onion: What’s subsequent for you?
Welch: A model cope with a throat numbing spray and a four-episode arc on a Netflix actuality relationship present.
The Onion: What recommendation would you want to offer to your followers?
Welch: You aren’t your ideas, however somewhat the observer of your ideas. The self you cling to is however a peripheral glimpse of the bloody machine of your thoughts at work.
The Onion: Has going viral modified the way in which males work together with you in any respect?
Welch: No, each interplay remains to be unhealthy.
The Onion: Any darkish secrets and techniques you need to simply get out within the open earlier than the web finds them?
Welch: Oh, just a few fairly normal Tennessee stuff, like a drunk-driving hit-and-run.