Stephen Colbert touched on Elon Musk’s exit from the Trump White home throughout his monologue on Monday’s “The Late Present,” and through his commentary he solved one notably bizarre thriller about Musk’s White Home exit press convention.
“The weirdest, I believe perhaps the weirdest a part of this bizarre, bizarre assembly was Elon’s face, as a result of, for some motive, he had a black eye. Oh no, if solely somebody within the White Home had entry to make-up,” Colbert joked, referencing, in fact, Trump’s suspected utility of heavy stage make-up.
“So why? Why the black eye? Who hates who hates Elon Musk sufficient to punch him within the face? I’m not Sherlock Holmes, however might it’s,” Colbert mentioned as he ducked under the digital camera. Then he popped again up carrying a Sherlock Holmes-style deerstalker cap and holding a pipe and added, “Eachone?!?”
“When requested in regards to the shiner, Elon blamed his 5 yr outdated son, X,” Colbert defined earlier than working a clip of Musk claiming he was tough housing with mentioned
toddler, and requested the toddler to punch him.”
“Fully regular factor each, each regular dad or mum says to their little one as a result of, as a result of everyone knows dad and mom, know you bought them on bedtime like a jail yard. Okay, okay, buddy, the drill. Put in your PJs, brush your tooth and stroll as much as the most important daddy on this room and punch him proper within the face,” Colbert joked. Then he turned his consideration to the bombshell New York Instances report over the weekend alleging Musk indulges in excessive ranges of thoughts altering drug consumption.
“Now, to be to be truthful, Elon might sound a little bit eccentric, as a result of he’s completely suited to the gills on vitamin three. In keeping with a brand new report, through the 2024 marketing campaign, Elon was utilizing medication much more intensely than beforehand recognized, together with ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms… Elon’s favourite taste of mind spice, evidently, was was ketamine, which he instructed folks he was taking a lot of that it was affecting his bladder. Wow. Unhealthy for Elon. Nice for my pre present workouts,” Colbert joked, including, “the A-hole’s Okay-hole, F’d his P-hole.”
“Elon had beforehand mentioned that he took a small quantity of the drug to deal with despair, nevertheless it looks like he might need been taking away greater than that, as a result of bladder issues affect persistent customers of ketamine and might result in frequent and painful urination and episodes of incontinence,” Colbert continued. “That’s tough. You already know, you’re depressed, so you are taking ketamine, you are taking a lot ketamine that you simply pee your pants and that makes you extra depressed. So that you want extra ketamine, I imply, is there’s there any approach to break this vicious cycle?”
Then he ran a clip of Iowa Senator Joni Ernst saying, “we’re all going to perish.” Which, talking of, Colbert started the monologue clowning on her comments about death over the weekend. You possibly can watch the complete monologue under:
