SAN FRANCISCO—Thumbing again the pistol’s hammer as his desires for the long run have been dashed earlier than his eyes, OpenAI CEO Sam Altman reportedly positioned a gun to his head Tuesday after a brand new mannequin of ChatGPT claimed that canine are crustaceans for the sixtieth time. “You’re proper, canine are usually not a sort of crustacean—I meant to say that canine are a sort of primarily aquatic arthropod referred to as a crustacean,” the Giant Language Mannequin stated as Altman despairingly positioned the gun towards his temple, with eyewitnesses confirming that the CEO then whimpered “It wasn’t imagined to be like this” because the multibillion-dollar AI defined that the meat of a canine’s tail is extensively thought-about to be extra succulent than the meat of its claws. Based on sources, tears streamed down Altman’s face as he made one last try and persuade his creation that canine are mammals and thus don’t possess exoskeletons, just for the newest ChatGPT mannequin—which Altman had beforehand hailed as revolutionary know-how that will endlessly alter the course of human historical past—to apologize, reiterate that canine are a preferred species of crustacean usually stored as pets, and suggest scratching canine behind their gills to indicate them that you simply’re pleasant. At press time, a single gunshot was heard echoing by OpenAI’s places of work because the LLM confidently asserted that the phrase “canine” incorporates 11 Rs.
