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    Home » My job’s obsession with “working lunches” is tormenting me.
    Food

    My job’s obsession with “working lunches” is tormenting me.

    morshediBy morshediSeptember 25, 2025No Comments7 Mins Read
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    My job’s obsession with “working lunches” is tormenting me.
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    Good Job is Slate’s recommendation column on work. Have a office downside large or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here. (It’s nameless!)

    Expensive Good Job,

    For quite a lot of causes, meals was scarce once I was rising up. A lot of the time, meals wasn’t out there, or what was out there wasn’t protected.

    I developed quite a lot of methods round this, and now that I’m an grownup, in my 20s with my very own job, checking account, and a stage of stability, I’m feeling just like the methods I grew up with—like “eat as a lot as you possibly can when there’s meals”—aren’t working for my modified state of affairs.

    In my profession, there are semi-regular working meals, the place between 5 to 30 folks may have a gathering, and both the meals is within the workplace and catered or we exit to a venue. There’s one thing like this not less than each couple of weeks, and I’m writing to you on a single week the place there are six such meals scheduled, as a result of I simply straight up don’t know the best way to act, and I don’t know what to do about it.

    I’m not paying for the meals; the corporate is paying. If it’s a one-sandwich-per-person state of affairs, that’s navigable. However when it’s buffet-style, I get extremely anxious. I at all times put method an excessive amount of on my plate, and I’ll make myself sick attempting to complete it. Typically, I find yourself strategically leaving the room when the caterers clear up. If I’ve to observe them throw away the meals, I simply get so tense, and I can’t take note of the rest. No person else in my workplace has these issues; it’s all simply regular for them, and I’m the bizarre one attempting to save lots of the leftovers with containers I hold in my desk.

    A paid-for buffet, by no means thoughts six in every week, would have been an unbelievable lifeline once I was youthful, however typically I dread coming to work due to it, after which I really feel like I’m being ungrateful. I understand it’s ridiculous of me to be complaining about this when so many individuals are literally nonetheless going hungry, however I fear about my well being once I eat an excessive amount of at these work meals, and about coming off like a freak to my co-workers. Additionally, if I’m trustworthy, a part of me worries that this can turn into totally regular to me ultimately, and I’ll acclimate to wasteful habits that can come again to chunk me.

    What can I do right here to regulate the correct amount to this office meals tradition? What’s the “regular” I needs to be striving for? What are some methods I can use to make all of this much less horrible to me when it needs to be a blessing?

    —I Didn’t Know Different Individuals Ate Like This

    Expensive I Didn’t Know Different Individuals Ate Like This,

    I’m sorry you skilled meals insecurity as a child, and that you simply’re fairly fairly nonetheless processing that trauma. You don’t want to do this alone; a psychological well being skilled may make it easier to work via a few of these anxieties. If it helps you’re feeling much less like an outsider, please know that different colleagues are coping with their very own discomfort at these work meals. They might be self-conscious about their desk manners, for example, have meals aversions or allergy symptoms, be managing an consuming dysfunction, or fear about norovirus from buffet germs. And also you’re not the one one who hates to see meals go to waste, particularly whereas earnings inequality is rising and extra persons are at risk of going hungry because of cruel federal policies.

    1. Help! There’s a Dark Reason Why I Moved to My New Town. No One Knows.

    2. My Mom Asked Us For Money. Our Budget Can Take the Hit, But I’m Not Sure My Marriage Will.

    3. Everyone Knows You Shouldn’t Do This After a Divorce. Well, Tell That to My Ex-Wife.

    4. My Wife’s Halloween Candy Policy Makes Me See Red. But This Year, I Have a Plan.

    You’ve extra energy than you may suppose to enhance your office meals tradition. Inclusive and considerate leaders welcome good concepts, and even jerks will undertake higher insurance policies that get monetary savings. For meals held on the workplace, ask the folks in command of organizing the occasion in the event that they or you possibly can set out the leftovers afterward in a shared house for staffers who weren’t invited to the assembly. Interns and early-career folks, particularly, will devour them. Some caterers work with meals kitchens to donate leftovers, and you possibly can recommend that your organization rent them for future meals. If your organization is often ordering an excessive amount of meals, it’s overspending and desires a catering firm that calculates extra applicable parts. If your organization is publicly traded, or even when it’s not, it might have “environmental, social, and governance” (ESG) targets. Discover out who the ESG steward is on your firm and ask them to speak about tasks for minimizing meals waste. This might flip right into a team-building train that connects you with different colleagues who’re involved concerning the atmosphere and meals justice.

    One other method you possibly can enhance office meals tradition is to mannequin thrifty conduct, as you’re doing. I believe it’s nice that you simply herald containers to take residence leftovers or save them for the subsequent day’s lunch. Personal it slightly than feeling embarrassed. As you’re scooping up some extras, say, “Mmm, this dish was scrumptious, and I’m taking some residence to share.” If the caterers don’t already donate leftovers, ask them to depart out doggie-bag containers once they drop off their meals so it’s simple for everybody to seize some. It’ll save your busy co-workers’ money and time if they will eat leftovers for dinner or tomorrow’s lunch.

    Laura Helmuth

    My Friend Introduced Me to One of Her Clients. It Took a Turn That Neither of Us Was Expecting.

    Read More


    When the meal is held at an exterior venue and also you’re dealing with down the buffet, have a quiet phrase along with your youthful, hungrier self. Acknowledge that that is an anxiety-inducing state of affairs. Recognize that you simply’re financially safer now, and provides your self credit score for working onerous and getting a job with scrumptious perks. Do not forget that you’re there to socialize along with your friends exterior of the workplace atmosphere. Then method the meals tables such as you personal the place. If there’s a salad bar, begin with that to get loads of greens, which might be scarce or closely sauced at a flowery buffet. If you go to the primary unfold, take small scoops of no matter dishes look wholesome and scrumptious. The primary foraging journey is for tasting and experimenting; you possibly can return for seconds if there’s one thing you like, as a result of no one’s judging. Bon appétit.

    —Laura

    Extra Recommendation From Slate

    “Lucy” and I are each 34 and have been associates since center college. She is the one mother of a youngster whose father isn’t within the image and has not been fascinated by courting since giving delivery. Lucy grew up grime poor and suffered lots from her mother and father’ unhealthy selections, so being an clever individual she has at all times been very savvy about saving and cautious about spending. In consequence, she has over $6,000 in financial savings, despite making a very low salary as a library worker without a college degree and having no help from a partner.

    Join Slate’s night e-newsletter.





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