MOSCOW—Explaining that Russia’s persistence on the matter had lastly reached a breaking level, officers in Moscow confirmed Friday that they had expelled six British diplomats who wouldn’t shut up about Physician Who. “London should understand that their diplomats’ incessant jabbering about Time Lord physiology and whether or not Daleks or Cybermen are stronger can solely go on so lengthy earlier than it requires a response,” a Kremlin spokesperson mentioned through state media, including with seen annoyance that every time Russian officers had tried to debate severe diplomatic points with the six self-described Whovians, they’d invariably steer the dialog again round as to whether the worst Physician had been Paul McGann or Colin Baker. “Even after we tried dosing them with nerve agent to get just a little peace and quiet, these dorks would simply carry on speculating about whether or not one TARDIS might canonically materialize inside one other TARDIS. With their expulsion, our message to the West is unequivocal: We don’t care who the Physician is. We don’t care who the Grasp is. We completely don’t care about regardless of the fuck that large pores and skin creature is. And as long as the Kremlin stands, we are going to by no means watch your dumb little TV present for youngsters.” At press time, Moscow recommended that they’d doubtlessly readmit the diplomats in the event that they acquired into some actual sci-fi like Battlestar Galactica.
