Ryan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered colleges to include the Bible into lesson plans for college kids in grades 5 by means of 12, placing the separation of church and state to the take a look at. The Onion shares a few of the methods colleges are altering their curriculum.
Updating the periodic desk of chemical parts to incorporate “Jesusonium.”
Banning homicide and adultery in colleges.
Requiring college students to yell the “beneath God” a part of the Pledge of Allegiance.
Masking far more incest in intercourse ed class.
Adjusting costume codes to incorporate year-round open-toe sandal carrying.
Streamlining woodshop choices to “desk,” “ark,” or “cross.”
Together with Bible-inspired workouts in gymnasium class, like flee-the-Jew and stone-the-idolater.
Renaming all 272 highschool soccer groups “the Crusaders.”
Emphasizing the significance of shunning lepers in well being class.
Performing frog crucifixions in biology.
Instituting a Christmas break.
