FARGO — For almost 4 a long time, Mike Smith quietly recorded his experiences of psychological sickness and dependancy in a journal, jotting down particulars of rejection and different troubling results of bipolar dysfunction.
“I journaled for 35 years, after I had no one to truly even share it with,” mentioned the Air Power veteran, who just lately added “writer and podcaster” to his credentials. “It is advisable get to the place in your life the place you’ve gotten a objective, to make sense of the mania.”
Late final 12 months, Smith compiled these journal pages right into a e-book, “The Gutter Gospel,” providing a firsthand glimpse into the mind and coronary heart of 1 who has been via the fireplace.
By way of podcasting, he’s continued to broaden the story, reaching not simply eyes however ears everywhere in the world.
Regardless of this wider attain, his coronary heart stays fastened on looking for out the misplaced and lonely proper right here in his personal yard. As an illustration, he just lately turned down an thrilling alternative to pitch his story to the Christian movie business that would have led to his story turning into a film.
“I traded in my tickets so I might bless others much less lucky — these having to face in line for bins of meals” at Seeds of Hope in Dilworth, he mentioned, the place he volunteers his time.
After experiencing being an outcast himself — together with a number of stints in a padded cell in shackles on the North Dakota State Hospital in Jamestown — Smith mentioned he desires nothing greater than for others to know the reward of God’s redeeming grace.
A Sea of Tears and muddy pennies
One chapter inside “Gutter Gospel” recounts a dream Smith had of Jesus revealing a spot the place all of the tears cried rise as much as heaven and are collected within the Sea of Tears.
Within the dream, he shared, “Jesus mentioned to me, ‘Mike, do you see that pile of muddy pennies behind you? Take one out and wash it within the Sea of Tears.’”
Jesus then defined that so many hurting folks view themselves as no extra worthwhile than a muddy penny, and that his job is to now “wash one and make it shine prefer it’s model new.”
Chris Flynn / The Discussion board
That dream illuminated his life’s objective, he mentioned, and upon studying he’d be receiving one hundred pc compensation advantages from the federal government for his navy service, he lastly had a strategy to observe via.
The center of Smith’s story begins at age 12, when his father was fired from his job, sending the household of seven scrambling for survival. A number of years later, he died of an enormous coronary heart assault, and Smith skilled his first of a number of suicide makes an attempt.
From there, his life turned a sequence of rejection — from being kicked out of the navy to shedding jobs and relationships, largely the results of his lengthy undiagnosed psychological sickness.
Regardless of the laborious turns, nonetheless, his e-book additionally particulars the methods God saved exhibiting up.
“As soon as, whereas in a psych unit, a man instructed me, ‘You remind me a variety of Job. You’ve misplaced every little thing. However at some point God’s going to bless you past measure’,” Smith mentioned.
One other time, simply earlier than being launched from the navy, he was despatched out to wax ambulances within the scorching, Texas solar when, all of a sudden, “slightly outdated girl” got here as much as him and gave him a Bible tract.
“I instructed her, ‘I can’t settle for this. I’m an alcoholic, a drug addict, and I’m getting kicked out of the navy,’” however she continued in telling him about God’s love for him, and it modified his life.
Hope for all — it doesn’t matter what
In a nutshell, he mentioned, the “Gutter Gospel” is just a reminder that there’s hope for anyone.
“We’ve all been within the gutter to at least one diploma or one other,” Smith mentioned. “The street to redemption is God’s grace, love, endurance and mercy to drag you thru, providing you with a objective to share your story. We’re right here to share our testimony.”
Regardless of the pitfalls, a 30-plus-years marriage and persevering with to search out group and brotherhood — whether or not via fellow veterans or, extra just lately, his Bible research buddies — have additionally marked his story.
Kirk Seltzer mentioned he met Smith round 4 months in the past when Smith “got here wandering into our males’s prayer group one Saturday at Northview Church.”
When Seltzer discovered himself with no automobile, Smith volunteered to offer him rides, and the 2 started hanging out every day, together with at a weekly Bible research within the basement of Babb’s Espresso Home downtown Fargo.
At 6-foot-5 and carrying a measurement 15 shoe, Seltzer mentioned that Smith was a bit imposing at first. However as Smith started sharing “bits and items of his life,” together with his 40 years battling alcohol dependancy, Selter noticed the smooth inside.
“He’s been via a extremely tough time,” Seltzer mentioned. “We hit a variety of prayer conferences and speak about his previous, my previous, and we simply appear to know one another actual properly. I discover him to be honest, and the time period ‘on fireplace for God’ would match. He offers God credit score for every little thing.”
In his comparatively brief time of understanding Smith, Seltzer mentioned he’s been amazed to see what’s been unfolding.
“I see some exceptional issues taking place fairly rapidly. He’s being properly obtained and is touching lots of people already,” he shared.
Chris Flynn / The Discussion board
Seltzer highlighted Smith’s current pursuit towards turning into a Jail Chaplains minister.
“I used to be one for seven years at Clay County,” Seltzer mentioned, including that the work entails serving to folks “in some fairly determined conditions.” “I really feel like he’s going to slot in properly there with the emotional vary you run into in jails.”
Eric Johnson met Smith some time again via a Jail Chaplains occasion — a small-group gathering of males who’d come collectively to observe the film, “Father Stu,” on the Fargo Theater.
That evening, Smith met Brad Witzke, and the 2 fashioned a fast bond via their prior navy service, Johnson shared. They started assembly weekly with a Jail Chaplains “Residing Free” group to assist with “life-controlling points.”
In December 2024, simply earlier than Smith’s e-book was compiled, Witzke died of most cancers — one other disappointment Smith talked about, however one which was lightened via their shared Christian religion.
Johnson recalled how impressed he was when Smith — after experiencing one other Bible-study buddy, Wealthy, request baptism following his 30-year jail stint — raised his hand to hunt the identical.
Like “Father Stu” within the film, Smith has handled a lot variety, however just like the priest, Johnson mentioned, “Mike has turned to the Lord, and in turning to the Lord, he has turned many others towards him.”
He recalled Saint Andrew within the Bible, recognized to be “an inviter.”
“I consider Mike that approach, too. He’s invited many individuals to our group, and now, via the podcasts, he’s extra of an evangelizer,” Johnson mentioned.
Generosity via adversity
Regardless of his many challenges, Johnson mentioned, Smith isn’t one to really feel sorry for himself. “He’s additionally probably the most beneficiant folks I do know,” Johnson mentioned.
However his accolades of Smith include a caveat: that, given Smith’s historical past, some could be tempted to evaluate him and even push him away at first look. “He may be intimidating,” he mentioned, however “you really want to know Mike earlier than you choose Mike.”
When you do perceive him, he mentioned, you’ll discover that Smith’s items are many, referencing James 1:2-4: “Think about it pure pleasure, my brothers and sisters, everytime you face trials of many sorts, as a result of you recognize that the testing of your religion produces perseverance. Let perseverance end its work so that you could be be mature and full, not missing something.”
“His adversity,” Johnson concluded, “has propelled him ahead.”
To learn extra of the “Gospel Gutter,” together with a number of pattern chapters of the e-book, and podcast hyperlinks, go to Smith’s web site at
https://theguttergospel.com/home.
To help his outreach to others within the space who’re hurting, which he calls “Mike Smith’s Mission of Love and Restoration,” go to
https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-to-mike-smiths-mission-of-love-and-recovery.
