QUEEN’S PARK – Quickly after debuting his “Canada Is Not For Sale” hat, Ontario Premier Doug Ford was noticed carrying a second hat to make clear that he’s nonetheless very a lot on the market.
“I used to be thrilled to see ‘Canada Is Not For Sale’ hats flying off the cabinets,” stated Ford. “It jogged my memory why I turned a politician within the first place: creating wealth.”
The hat reads “DOUG FORD IS FOR SALE” in all-caps font, leaving little doubt in regards to the Premier’s full and utter lack of integrity. The place the primary hat featured a Canadian flag on the facet, the brand new one has a QR code for these serious about viewing Ford’s newest bribe charges. Additionally, the hat is simply too small.
“In right now’s political local weather, there’s no room for subtlety,” defined Ford. “You may’t simply take your bribes underneath the desk at your daughter’s engagement occasion anymore. That’s why I’m carrying this hat.”
The Premier desires to ship a transparent message to Ontarians that there’s no disgrace in promoting out for just a little bit of money, offered it’s finished inside one’s dwelling province. In an unrelated replace, Ford reminded his constituents that his $200 rebate cheques will probably be of their mailboxes simply in time for the early election he’s going to name on the most financially opportune second.
Ford paired his two hats with a T-shirt emphasizing that, whereas Canada is just not on the market, many components of Ontario are, resembling huge swaths of the Greenbelt, all publicly owned museums, and Hamilton. His belt is made completely of tear-off tabs that publicize his contact data for e-transfers.
“We’ll by no means promote our nation to America,” stated the Premier. “However any American builders serious about buying land in Ontario ought to please come and communicate to me instantly.”
In different news, opposition chief Marit Stiles has been pictured carrying a hat that reminds Ontarians that Ford beforehand endorsed Donald Trump.
