How humorous is demise? Nicely, the nearer it comes the much less I fret over it. I’m fairly wholesome, however I’m within the dwelling stretch and whereas I count on one other decade, nothing was ever assured, besides that Dying would present up like Alan Funt — once you least count on it, you’re elected.
Until you’re this man, who was starting to surprise if he was ever going to indicate up, which brings me to the difficulty of pop stars. I see folks on social media upset as a result of some actor or musician from their youth has purchased the farm, and my response is that when you hit 80, trying out is an inevitability, not a tragedy.
Whoever was well-known once you have been a child is probably going to take a look at earlier than you do, however that’s why I like Janis Ian a lot, as a result of she hit the charts once I was nonetheless in highschool however she’s a 12 months youthful. Even Jackson Browne is older than both of us, and he was a wunderkind.
You can catch a documentary about Janis on PBS’s American Masters, however she’s nonetheless youthful than me. And cooler, however that wasn’t my level.
Talking of demise, my response to at present’s In The Bleachers was to flash on the Twilight Zone episode A Nice Place to Visit, during which a punk gambler dies and, within the afterlife, has every little thing he may need and by no means loses. He thinks he’s in heaven, for awhile.
On this model of the story, a golfer dies and finds himself on a incredible golf course, however instantly loses his final ball, as a result of it isn’t heaven.
BTW, solely about 14% of Individuals play golf. Maybe all of the golf cartoons are proof that 86% of us aren’t in heaven.
Right here’s one other joke about demise, which explains a significant concept about why canine take pleasure in toys that squeak, which is kind of presumably right. It may also clarify the canine who instantly tear the squeaker out of a toy after which think about the sport over.
Fairly grim supply of humor, I believed.
I don’t assume canine must really feel responsible about making small rodents squeak as soon as after which by no means once more, however right here’s the Different Coast with a complete checklist of different issues canine shouldn’t need to confess.
There have been research during which Consultants have confirmed that canine don’t really feel guilt and that any woebegone expression is a response to your anger. I’ve not but learn an Professional evaluation of why the canine doesn’t greet you on the door on days when there may be rubbish strewn across the kitchen.
Canine are canine, and a few issues you’ll be able to’t prepare them out of doing. It’s your fault if you happen to depart a sandwich on the counter with a recognized meals thief within the room.
I’ve but to see anybody who can acknowledge his faults, look inside himself, and put the blame there. — Ok’ung Fu-Tzu
After a number of years of teaching youth soccer, I took a training effectivity course the place they informed us that teaching occurs at follow and that gametime is simply too late. Yelling then solely confuses your gamers.
So on the subsequent follow, I requested the crew if my directions have been useful or if I ought to shut up and allow them to play. Their vote was rapid and unanimous.
I’ve been happy to see what number of rec leagues at present require coaches and fogeys to STFU and let the youngsters play, and that it doesn’t change the scores, solely the environment.
This near-death gag made me snicker as a result of I’ve been hit by the identical phenomenon on far much less fraught events. My response is “overlook it, then,” however clearly this fellow doesn’t have that possibility.
I’ve some sympathy with websites that encourage “engagement.” However there’s a degree at which they grow to be like a type of free holidays the place it’s a must to sit via a pitch about time shares.
Somebody wrote that “the simplest choice a reader could make is to cease studying.” Doubly true of internet browsing, so don’t make issues too difficult.
Whamond got here again the subsequent Sunday with a associated grievance and this time I did snicker, as a result of there’s a web site I would like to go to periodically which, if you happen to can’t keep in mind your password, allows you to reset it, however first it’s a must to enter the password you’ll be able to’t keep in mind.
I additionally tried to subscribe to a web site that wished me to create a password earlier than they’d take my cash. Every password I attempted was “invalid” however they by no means stated why. I attempted making it longer, I attempted including a “particular character,” I added a capital letter, I made positive not one of the numbers have been consecutive.
I made a decision to not give them cash in spite of everything. Appeared like a simple answer.
There are methods of describing artwork with out (A) sounding like a pretentious ass and (B) eradicating all the enjoyment from it.
And it’s not simply artwork. I like wine, however I don’t desire a glass of chocolate with hints of raspberry and parts of garbanzo beans or no matter, and I despise e-book evaluations during which the reviewer writes as if he thinks he’s the good writer whose prose we’re there for.
As I’ve stated earlier than, my senior 12 months we banned the phrase “evocative” in our seminar as a result of it was a silly, pretentious phrase that took the place of precise thought.
Again within the day, any individual was droning on concerning the valley in Mexico from which a selected stash had come and what explicit vibe we’d count on from it, and a biker buddy growled, “There’s two sorts of weed. There’s the sort that will get me off, and the sort that doesn’t get me off. I just like the stuff that will get me off.”
I’ll drink to that.
This xkcd got here alongside simply after I’d listened to Charlie Sykes’ podcast with University of Michigan economics professor Justin Wolfers, which I strongly suggest.
Particular to counting cash, Wolfers defined that one million would slot in a briefcase, a billion would slot in sufficient briefcases to fill a bus, and a trillion would contain layers of stuffed buses filling the soccer stadium at Michigan.
I discovered his clarification worthwhile and under no circumstances evocative.
