Calgary, Alberta – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has made headlines after stating that Canada has a number of the lowest residing requirements on this planet thanks principally to her time in workplace.
“I count on some recognition and appreciation,” exclaimed Smith in a latest press convention. “It’s onerous sufficient to get individuals to outright refuse life-saving medication, however asking individuals who simply misplaced their properties for an apology and spreading measles in Alberta are simply a number of the many presents I’ve bestowed on this as soon as stunning nation.”
Smith typically brags about a number of initiatives she has overseen to realize her occasion’s targets akin to ignoring the recycling and compost bins, sending espresso grinds down the sink, and requiring drivers to make use of two spots as an alternative of 1.
Danielle Smith has discovered recognition amongst voters who simply need Canada to worsen. Working on a “all the pieces ought to suck” message, she has amassed a big base of assist from celebrities who hate Canada like Ben Shapiro, Donald Trump, and Lex Luthor.
“Nothing makes individuals extra conscious of the preciousness of life than a low mortality fee,” exclaimed Smith from a video feed from her lair inside an energetic volcano. “Ache builds character, and other people have gotten too secure and wholesome on this nation.”
Smith has introduced her subsequent steps to plunge Canada into true darkness is to dam out the solar, make highways have a minimal velocity of 200 kilometers per hour, and kidnap 101 dalmatians to make a fur coat.
