Commissar Rachel Reeves has addressed the Duma Home of Comrades right now to refute that there’s something unsuitable with recession within the Individuals’s Soviet Republic of Britain.
RECESSION BRITAIN
“Comrades, apparatchiks, civil servants, practice drivers, union bosses, fats cat council bosses, NHS managers, Bolsheviks, and the on a regular basis working proletariat scum. I’m talking right now to quell any rumours which have been going round that recession in Soviet Britain is a foul factor. I’m proud to have prompted the financial downturn due to my superb selections to punish the capitalist swine and to expel all the rich parasites from the Soviet UK.
“The Crimson Labour authorities is devoted to increasing taxes even additional, rising ineffective laws that may additional inhibit enterprise, and rising inheritance tax to confiscate wealth from the bourgeoisie and enterprise neighborhood. We’re additionally destroying the vile landed gentry represented by the Kulak farmer class. These parasitical capitalist swine have dared to outlive for generations, offering meals for the inhabitants of Britain. Because of my insurance policies, they are going to be stopped of their tracks and bankrupted as their wealth is siphoned off and redistributed to individuals who have by no means labored a day of their lives, and squandered on ineffective socialist tasks that profit nobody. Our redistribution of wealth from wealth creators to the feckless subclasses and unlawful immigrants is the right motion to implement.
“By way of collectivisation we as a Soviet nation have gotten stronger in poverty, and destitution. Why have a recession when you’ll be able to have a Nice Melancholy? Comrades, that is my purpose as Commissar of the Soviet Individuals’s Financial institution.
“Comrades, I’m proud to announce and rejoice our financial system shrinking into recession, by cancelling the earlier proposed improve of 14 grams in Chocco rations that was scheduled for this yr, and as a substitute substitute it with one rotten turnip for the proletariat filth.”
INGSOC ORDER 769834-2398A
ARTHUR BRIDLESWAITE OF 210 PISSWAGE ROAD, ELTHAM, LONDON WAS TODAY CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTS TO INCREASE HIS WEALTH BY RUNNING A BUSINESS SELLING VEGETABLES. HE HAS BEEN CHARGED AND CONVICTED TO 45 YEARS OF HARD LABOUR BREAKING ROCKS IN GRIMSBY GULAG. TODAY HE CONFESSED TO HIS VARIOUS CRIMES, INCLUDING SOCIAL MEDIA THOUGHTCRIME, ALONG WITH SELLING VEGETABLES ILLICITLY AND PROFITING OFF THIS EVIL CAPITALIST ACTION. PROLETARIAT SOVIET CITIZENS OF BRITAIN WILL BE REWARDED WITH ONE USED LOLLIPOP IF THEY REPORT MEMBERS OF THEIR FAMILY OR FRIENDS TO THE BIG STATE.
