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March has lengthy had a Joan Jett-like “unhealthy fame,” initially due to the assassination of Julius Caesar. That’s the place many individuals get one of many few Latin phrases they know: “Et tu, Brute?” or roughly, “You too, Brutus?” This yr, we additionally witnessed princesses with comparable unhealthy reps. The media profession of wannabe Princess Meghan Markle took one other hit together with her lame Netflix house present. And Disney princess Rachel Zegler starred within the much-panned “Snow White” remake.
Dwelling as much as or all the way down to that unhealthy fame offers us the first entry in our month of loopy:
1. Freeway to Hell: The highway to hell is actually paved with good intentions. When liberals hear the phrase Amazon, they assume it’s an enormous, essential entity they need to destroy. No, I’m not speaking in regards to the Jeff Bezos-owned retailer. I’m speaking in regards to the South American jungle, close to the positioning of the most recent bogus local weather change assembly.
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To fulfill the estimated 50,000 attendees at this yr’s local weather summit, Brazil carved an eight-mile freeway by the jungle so they might drive to their vacation spot, most likely in gas-guzzling SUVs. They’ve referred to as the jungle-wrecking highway the Avenida Liberdade or Avenue of Liberty. Extra proof that local weather do-gooders choose you do good they usually do nicely.
2. Select your fighter: Online game followers have performed numerous variations of one-on-one fighter video games, like “Road Fighter” and “Mortal Kombat.” In a bid to enhance their social media sport, seven Democrat congresswomen had been included in a short video montage entitled, “Select Your Fighter.” The video featured distinguished Dems showing on display screen with fists a-flyin’. The textual content under every “character” is actually memorable – like “hates balloons” and “Not into hair dye.” Among the many self-owners had been New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (“Trekkie”) and Texas Rep. Jasmine Crockett (“Not a morning particular person”).
ABC Information credited “a meals and wellness influencer who attended the Home Democrats’ creators occasion” for creating the worst video of 2025 – to date. The consequence was so embarrassing that even CNN anchor Abby Phillip mentioned it, “appears to be simply inviting ridicule.” When you’ve misplaced CNN, who do you could have left?
3. Cheeto of energy: The world’s marketing campaign to separate silly folks from money doesn’t at all times contain Vegas or March Insanity betting. Typically, it’s the acquisition of one thing easy like a Cheeto. Based on the Related Press, “A Cheeto formed just like the beloved Pokémon Charizard has bought at public sale for a complete price of $87,840.” The “3-inch lengthy Flamin’ Sizzling Cheeto” had 60 public sale bids. It’s not like possession of the Cheeto imparts Charizard’s fireplace assault and even its flying means. It’s only a stale Cheeto that price as a lot as a home downpayment in much of the U.S. Powerful to swallow.
4. Turtle time: Say turtles and I, and lots of Individuals, begin fascinated with Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. We aren’t sometimes fascinated with a psychological well being advisory board aiding the director of Oregon’s Well being Authority. Sadly, that is 2025 and JD Holt is among the “shoppers” on the panel. Holt has passed by “JD Terrapin” on Fb, and apparently that’s not based mostly on College of Maryland fandom. Holt declared throughout a Dec. 20 digital assembly, “I take advantage of they, them and turtle for my pronouns.”
Gender Wiki, the Wikipedia of made-up genders, contains references to “turtlegender” and even “tortoisegender” as having a particular gender tie to turtles. Which I wager you had been dying to know. That is Oregon, one of many lesser-known stops alongside the Yellow Brick Street. Throughout a Dec. 17 assembly, one other member claimed to be, “Luke A Capturing Star.” Your tax {dollars} at work.
5. And talking of turtles: When you fly wherever (not along with your Charizard), you’ve been by the TSA search. Possibly this story will make us all a bit extra sympathetic to the TSA staff. A Pennsylvania man tried to smuggle a reside, five-inch turtle by airport safety by hiding it in his pants. Now, the one turtles I’m accustomed to are Snapping Turtles and also you positively mustn’t put them in your pants.
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Right here’s the place you may discover only a tiny little bit of sympathy for the TSA. Based on AP, “The turtle was confiscated, and it’s not clear if the turtle was the person’s pet or why he had it in his pants.” Thomas Carter, TSA’s federal safety director for New Jersey had to answer this on the document. Not terrorism, simply turtles. “As greatest as we might inform, the turtle was not harmed by the person’s actions.” If Elon Musk brings DOGE to New Jersey, Carter should declare turtle discuss as one in all his week’s achievements.
6. Journalist battle membership: My quest to maintain tabs on far-left “journalists” leads me to Washington Put up columnist and former International Opinions editor Karen Attiah. She’s ever energetic on the socials, blaming racism for many something and even invoking astrology to point the autumn of the U.S. empire. However she responded to a satirical publish about “School Struggle Night time,” with the memorable line, “I’d LOVE to do a media/journalism/author battle night time!”
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In her personal “lol” publish on the topic, she added, “Possibly as a substitute of the White House Correspondent’s [sic] Dinner, we should always simply brawl for charity / help mutual support.” Now, that’s leisure. Consider it, lefty CNN media defender Brian Stelter in opposition to rabid former sportscaster-turned TV host, turned no matter Keith Olbermann is now. Inform me you wouldn’t watch pay-per-view or wager on it in the event you might. (Sadly, my state refuses to permit us to wager on sports activities on-line.) Within the phrases of our hero, Westley from “The Princess Bride,” they need to battle, “to the ache!”
Thanks, March, six examples of unhealthy reps and so many individuals serving to make all of it occur. Within the phrases of Jett’s banger of a tune, “Unhealthy Repute,” “An’ I am by no means gonna care ’bout my unhealthy fame.” Possibly it’s time some folks within the media ought to begin caring. Till they do, no less than they’ll amuse us.
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