Alex Casey takes a Hollywood tour by means of the star-studded candidates checklist.
For many who like to observe bizarre native celeb gossip, it’s slim pickings on the market for the time being. Noel Edmonds has gone quiet, Brad Pitt has left the constructing by means of McDonald’s drive-thru, and Jay-Jay and Minou’s love story can solely maintain curiosity for therefore lengthy (though admittedly mine is but to wane). We’re left with nothing however mourning for Sam Neill’s beloved duck Magda, and there’s not even a season of Superstar Treasure Island this yr to numb the ache of all of it.
In case you‘ve been left questioning what occurred to all of the quirky and attention-grabbing well-known personalities of Aotearoa, I not too long ago found the place lots of them have been hiding out: native physique politics. And whereas it took a short while to weed out the actual large names from the flagrant imposters ( you Tony Bennett in Dunedin, Paul Williams in Waimakariri, Invoice Hammond in Higher Hutt Metropolis), this yr boasts a very spectacular variety of celebrities* hitting the marketing campaign path.
Anne ‘The Champagne Woman’ Batley-Burton (Auckland)
The champagne importer, cat fanatic and Actual Housewives of Auckland star made large headlines in June, first asserting that she could be running for Auckland Council’s Waitematā Local Board earlier than additionally revealing that she was accidentally bowled over by her husband’s car whereas attempting to rescue a roaming cat. Working on the centre-right C&R ticket, Batley-Burton instructed the Herald she needs to cut back crime in Auckland’s CBD (“fairly scary”), cease the “free for all” of housing intensification, and make desexing and microchipping free for cat house owners. For extra insights, right here’s a tipsy dispatch after I spent a whole day sipping champagne together with her in 2017.
Jamaine Ross (Auckland)
You could know him for being crack-up on issues like Frickin’ Harmful Bro, Man Mont Spelling Bee, 7 Days and Have You Been Paying Consideration, however Waitākere Ranges Native Board candidate Jamaine Ross now has a critical message: don’t vote for him. “Please don’t,” the comic pleaded from the entrance seat of his automotive in a recent video. “This isn’t a gag, this isn’t a joke, this isn’t some type of bizarre reverse psychology factor to attempt to persuade you to vote for me. Don’t vote for me. I don’t need to do it, OK?” Intriguing, complicated and conversation-starting for positive.
Michael Organ (Whanganui)
Well-known for a star flip within the David Farrier documentary Mister Organ, Michael Organ is working for considered one of 10 Whanganui Common Ward councillor positions on Whanganui District Council this yr and I’m genuinely too scared to write down the rest.
Pennywize (Wellington)
Let the chills proceed with this homage to an evil clown who famously lures youngsters into drains with paper boats after which eats them. Fortunately, this Pennywize (with a z) is generally trying to return “sanity, widespread sense, swamps, moa and hokioi Haast’s eagles to the streets of Te Whanganui-a-Tara” in their mayoral bid this yr. In case your blood is curdled by the concept of a horror sound-a-like roaming the streets, you simply wait until you hear who’s working in Ōamaru (Ferdie Kruger).
Teal Mau (Wellington)
Hairdresser Teal Mau captured our hearts when he competed with spouse Sophia in My Kitchen Guidelines NZ in 2017. “The good MKR chef stays ‘worldwide man of thriller’ Teal, who it’s revealed everyone seems to be frightened of as a result of he looks a lot like Johnny Depp and nearly by no means talks,” we wrote at the time. The comparability seems to have caught round, not helped by the truth that Mau not too long ago responded to a NZ Herald question about Depp with the phrase “parley” – a pirate negotiation time period lifted straight from The Pirates of the Caribbean films. Mau is working for considered one of three Pukehīnau/Lambton Common Ward councillor positions on Wellington Council, the place he needs to present enterprise house owners a voice, maintain younger folks within the metropolis, and presumably discover the beating coronary heart of Davy Jones.
Will Corridor (Christchurch)
He’s confronted down the Ferndale Strangler, however how may he deal with the constituents of Christchurch? You may recognise Will Corridor as Dr Kip Denton from Shortland Road, or the mutton-chopped Mike McCarthy from Westside, however the actor has extra not too long ago been gunning for a brand new position: repping the good people of Heathcote Ward on the Waihoro Spreydon-Cashmere-Heathcote Community Board. Working with the marketing campaign slogan “the place there’s a Will, there’s a method,” Corridor told Stuff in 2022, when he unsuccessfully ran for ward councillor, that there was Nothing Trivial (one other present he starred in for a number of years) about his performing background: “I’m new to politics and that’s a bonus; no preconceptions, I’m impartial, energetic with commonsense.”
Mandy Mayhem (Dunedin)
In a method, Mandy Mayhem being one of many 1,000 folks in the Dunedin Study is about as well-known as you will get. OK, so that you’re concerned on the earth’s most detailed longitudinal research of human improvement? That DO impress-a me a lot. The Dunedin mayoral candidate can also be a ringmaster, a black belt in taekwondo, spent six years on the Waikouaiti-Coast Group Board, and was elected as a Dunedin Metropolis councillor in 2022. She’s additionally been described as a “pirate queen” – simply don’t inform Teal up in Wellies or we’d need to dampen the Black Pearl.
Suzanne Prentice (Invercargill)
She’s carried out with Dolly Parton, Johnny Money and principally each single New Zealand youngster alive for the Youngsters for Youngsters nationwide tour within the 90s and 2000s, however nowadays you’re extra prone to discover nation music legend Suzanne Prentice in a gathering than on the large stage. First difficult Tim Shadbolt for the mayoralty in 2010, Prentice has since turn out to be a well-known title in Invercargill native politics and is now dreamin’ her dreams of being re-elected to the Invercargill Licensing Belief in 2025. (PS: I don’t know what the NZ equal of an EGOT is, however Prentice has already nabbed a New 12 months’s honour and a star on the stroll of fame this yr alone.)
Steve Broad (Invercargill)
Talking of Invercargill crooners, it’s solely bloody Steve Broad from NZ Idol and X Issue NZ! First arriving on our screens in 2005, all huge eyes and lengthy hair, the blondini from the south got here third in season two of NZ Idol (later received by Rosita Vai). A complete decade later, he returned to the singing competitors stage for X Issue NZ in 2015, a season so massively overshadowed by the Kills-Moon explosion that all of us forgot his shifting rendition of ‘Summertime Sadness’. He outlasted swimsuit thief Joe Irvine, however Broad was eradicated within the quarter finals. In 2023, he efficiently ran within the Invercargill Metropolis Council byelection, and can be trying to ‘Stay’ on as a councillor in 2025.
Paddy O’Brien (Invercargill)
Invercargill’s stardust continues to shine with O’Brien, the world’s first ever skilled rugby referee who can also be standing for re-election to the Invercargill Licensing Belief this yr. O’Brien refereed the primary ever skilled match between the Hurricanes and the Blues in 1996, and went on to referee 80 extra Tremendous Rugby matches, two Rugby World Cups, and 218 first-class matches.
Marcus Lush (Invercargill)
OK, Invercargill is principally Madame Tussaud’s at this level. Though he called “bullshit” on the celebrity title again in 2022, there’s no denying that councillor candidate Marcus Lush is a heavy hitter to spherical out town’s cavalcade of celebri– sorry, notable characters. He has been within the public eye (and/or ear) because the late 80s, be it fronting documentary sequence like Off the Rails and South, or internet hosting stints on bFM, Radio Reside and his present late-night gig on Newstalk ZB. A powerful CV, however even somebody as skilled as Lush can admit his shortcomings. “I’m not a Kardashian,” he as soon as instructed The Spinoff. “It’s not like I’ve accomplished a intercourse tape.”
