Simply in time for Satisfaction Month, writer and LGBTQ+ activist Regina V. Cates releases a robust and well timed new ebook: ‘The Real Conversation Jesus Wants Us to Have: A Call to Bravery, Peace, and Love’ — a fearless exploration of id, institutional hurt, and the deeply private journey of reclaiming religion from worry and exclusion.
Raised in a conservative Christian neighborhood in Texas, Cates endured sexual abuse, rejection for being homosexual, and years of internalized disgrace. Her journey from trauma to transformation varieties the emotional core of this ebook, which serves as a name to motion for LGBTQ+ individuals and different marginalized people in search of therapeutic, religious reclamation, and liberation.
“This isn’t a standard spiritual ebook,” says Cates. “It’s a wake-up name. A reckoning. A roadmap again to what Jesus really taught—unconditional love, radical inclusion, and fierce compassion.”
With the growing threat of Christian nationalism in the US and extreme anti-Trans laws persevering with to be launched and handed throughout the nation beneath the guise of spiritual freedom, ‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’ confronts how fear-based spiritual doctrines have distorted Jesus’ inclusive message and triggered hurt to generations of LGBTQ+ individuals. Mixing private memoir, social commentary, and religious perception, this ebook is something however a standard patronizing spiritual textual content—and that’s precisely the purpose.
Partaking in brave conversations on controversial matters—racism, sexual abuse, political corruption, sexual orientation, and abortion— Regina Cates calls the Church to confront the profound heartbreak skilled by LGBTQ+ individuals—these pushed to the margins and handled as ‘lower than’ by communities that profess to comply with a God of affection. Although deeply wounded by faith, Cates refuses to desert her religion—or Jesus, who by no means deserted her.
In an period the place spiritual rhetoric is more and more used to justify discrimination, Regina’s message is a crucial and well timed contribution to public discourse. Her ebook empowers queer individuals —and anybody harmed by inflexible dogma—to return to a religious life grounded not in disgrace, however in reality, braveness, and love.
Regina can also be the founding father of Romancing Your Soul, a company centered on serving to individuals lead with compassion and authenticity. Her transformative insights—rooted in private trauma, rejection, and in the end self-liberation—have impressed 1000’s globally. With lots of of 1000’s of followers on social media, Regina continues to share day by day messages of affection, braveness, and religious perception.
‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’ is a must-read for Satisfaction Month and past—a courageous and compassionate information for anybody able to reclaim their religious voice.
In an in-depth interview, right here’s what Regina instructed us about her private journey, her ebook, and the message she has for Christians in the present day.
What prompted you to start writing your new ebook?
As a member of the LGBTQIA+ neighborhood, who was raised in a fundamentalist Christian church within the southern a part of the US within the Sixties, I do know what it’s prefer to be focused because the “different.”
We live in an age of deep division, fear-based rhetoric, and the cruelty that comes from making an enemy of these thought-about lower than. Observing our social interactions, politics, and the bastardization of Jesus’ message of affection your neighbor as your self, I ask myself: What would Jesus really say to us in the present day?
About LGBTQIA+, gender inequity, a tradition of weapons and individualism, white male heterosexual privilege, abortion, battle, environmental destruction, Christian nationalism, greed, corruption, racism, prisons and battle as enterprise fashions, the vilification of immigrants, training, and a free press, and so forth. I’m optimistic he would name out those that are abusing energy over individuals and harming their fellow human beings. He would courageously train tough-love and provide real-world options.
That’s what I attempt to do on this ebook.
‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’ is my means of sitting down on the desk with Jesus (an individual we equate with radical inclusion, integrity, bravery, and love) to ask arduous questions, and picture options, about necessary points we should face if we’re to outlive as a human species. The world is ravenous for actual religious conversations. This ebook is the blueprint for the way we are able to have the deep religious discussions crucial for us to be the optimistic change we wish to see.
What was it prefer to revisit among the experiences of your childhood, rising up as a queer youth in a conservative Christian atmosphere in Texas?
Any technique of self-assessment and taking a look at our previous candidly is therapeutic as a result of going through our trauma, as an alternative of operating from it, or trying to medicate it away, is the answer. I started the therapeutic course of in earnest with the writing of my first ebook, ‘Lead with Your Coronary heart, Making a Lifetime of Love, Compassion, and Goal’. My second ebook, ‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have, a Name to Bravery, Peace, and Love’ is a a lot deeper dive into most of the points I struggled with rising up homosexual in a fundamentalist church.
It was troublesome as a result of from the second I entered church I used to be vilified and hated merely for being born completely different. I’m removed from alone. All of us appear to be, in a method or one other, the goal of a white, male, heterosexual thought of Christianity that needs to manage and dominate the remainder of us. Sharing my story is a means for individuals who had, or are having, comparable experiences of being excluded, to really feel seen, heard, and worthy.
These of us who’re persecuted far outnumber those that match into a really small field of what’s thought-about acceptable and Christian. We have to keep in mind exclusion goes towards all the things a radically inclusive Jesus stood for. We additionally want to face collectively and share with each other the message that every one of us thought-about “different” aren’t those who’re fallacious in Jesus’ coronary heart.
Though we’ve got seen a variety of progress for queer rights throughout the nation, we nonetheless have an extended approach to go. Why is it extra necessary than ever to share tales and converse out towards discrimination?
All of us should converse out towards discrimination! Nevertheless, being a whistleblower shouldn’t be snug to do for worry of being focused as a result of we’re warned, nearly from delivery, to utterly by no means speak about in well mannered society: intercourse, abuse, faith, bigotry, gender inequality, politics, xenophobia, slavery, human sexuality, our psychological well being, and rather more.
On the identical time, religiously and politically motivated campaigns of worry and oppression search to restrict the rights of girls to decide on their very own health-care choices, to disclaim the human rights of members of the LGBTQIA+ neighborhood, and to maintain entrenched inside society systemic racism, white privilege, male dominance, and different types of oppression. We have to be prepared to be harm by the reality – Christianity ought to by no means be used as a weapon towards anybody. We’ve to bravely speak about this out within the open.
With a lot worry, division, inequity, abuse of energy, corruption, disinformation, and mayhem on this planet, it appears Jesus’s request to us, to like our neighbors as ourselves, is definitely very arduous to reside by.
Why is that? I’ve a principle…
Merely proclaiming oneself to be Christian and truly striving to like one another as Jesus cherished us are enormously completely different approaches to following Jesus. Such completely different approaches exist as a result of over two thousand years after his dying, Western Christianity largely stays shackled to archaic, fear-based, and controlling spiritual dogma that doesn’t, and by no means did, align with Christ’s coronary heart or his teachings.
For a lot of conservative spiritual individuals who don’t know tips on how to settle for or affirm queer people, what do you hope your ebook will assist them see or perceive in a means they usually don’t hear from the pulpit?
If conservative Christians choose up this ebook they usually start to bravely and actually query their beliefs then I’ll have the chance to assist change their coronary heart; not their thoughts that doesn’t really feel. However, this ebook was not written for them. It was written to strengthen the guts and activism of everybody who needs to be a part of the answer to the abuses of energy discovered inside institutionalized Christianity so we are able to really heal our world.
There are various inside Christianity who proceed to be religiously indoctrinated to hate and worry (even their very own youngsters and relations) to the purpose they can’t hear something that goes towards what they already imagine. In social psychology, cognitive dissonance is the discomfort we really feel after we maintain conflicting concepts, beliefs, or values on the identical time. Corresponding to, I wish to love my homosexual baby however my beliefs dictate I can’t. As a result of we’re uncomfortable, we are inclined to justify our adverse motion or perception, relatively than admit to any wrongdoing.
Like our ancestors who enslaved, persecuted, and dedicated genocide towards individuals within the title of Christ, many who bear the title “Christian” nonetheless oppress others beneath that banner. They don’t have any ears to listen to or hearts to really feel – merely a set of judgmental beliefs.
These of us who imagine in a loving God can’t be complicit in accepting abusive teachings as God’s phrase or God’s will. However these of us who’re trapped on a dysfunctional hamster wheel of cognitive dissonance will proceed to excuse, and justify judgmental, controlling, and merciless habits.
Are you able to break down the time period “radical inclusion” and what it means for you in the present day?
Jesus was radically inclusive when he requested us to like our neighbor as ourselves. He didn’t say provided that the neighbor appears to be like like us, believes what we do, and is in relationship with who we predict they need to be. To be clear Jesus wouldn’t condone any dishonorable habits. He completely wouldn’t as a result of Christ set very sturdy boundaries towards abuse of each type. We should additionally.
Once we speak about him being radically inclusive it’s as a result of Jesus knew the way it felt to be an outcast from what was thought-about acceptable to these with spiritual, political, and social energy. He resonates as a result of he was persecuted partially for accepting those that have been completely different.
Jesus was poor, which triggered him to have deep compassion for the underprivileged and hungry. He struggled to make sense of social and spiritual buildings that saved the moneyed and highly effective accountable for all the things and everybody. As we speak we proceed to wrestle with a money-is-power-and-influence thought of success, intelligence, and entitlement. Prosperity gospel shouldn’t be aligned with Jesus’ teachings, in any respect.
Jesus resonates with a few of us as a result of, as he did, we too expertise spiritual persecution. He was a Jew who believed in a single God—a perception that went towards historic Roman faith, wherein individuals acknowledged and worshiped a number of gods and goddesses.
It was the abuses of energy that triggered Jesus to be an particularly passionate champion for the marginalized of society. His life and teachings mirror the respect he had for all individuals’s particular person liberty and dignity. He demonstrated compassion and that we are able to change the world for the higher; by working to see ourselves in each other to incorporate, relatively than exclude.
There are various people who find themselves understandably petrified of talking out, particularly in church settings. How would you encourage them to be daring and affirm the queer individuals of their lives and households?
Earlier than you do something, please learn this ebook. It will provide you with braveness and speaking factors. Then begin a ebook membership and if you wish to converse out accomplish that as a united entrance, armed with the knowledge I share as a result of there’s energy in numbers.
An alternative choice is to ask me to return and converse at your church. Or schedule a time to talk with me and the individuals you wish to have take part a non-confrontational setting. I’m being severe. I’m the proper particular person to assist facilitate these conversations.
I wrote ‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’ as my means of asking us to sit down down on the desk with Jesus (an individual we equate with radical inclusion, integrity, bravery, and love) to ask arduous questions, and picture options, about necessary points we should face if we’re to outlive as a human species.
What does it imply to you personally to seek out religious therapeutic, and proceed to carry religion as a queer particular person?
I don’t imagine we ever obtain full religious therapeutic. Nevertheless, we are able to do two issues, on a regular basis, that assist us discover therapeutic whereas persevering with to develop religion in one thing higher than ourselves.
First, we settle for we can’t purpose with unreasonable individuals. Once we drop a let’s combat hearth with hearth selfish mentality we’re capable of give up to the next knowledge that permits us to be coronary heart motivated. To behave in methods aligned with integrity, no matter how different individuals select to behave.
Second, we are able to admit what we don’t know. The fifth-century Greek thinker Socrates inspired individuals to concentrate on turning into conscious of and accountable for our ignorance. He believed the start of knowledge was an consciousness of 1’s personal ignorance. Once we admit our ignorance about ourselves, different individuals, historical past, science, and so forth., we open ourselves as much as increasing our understanding relatively than continuing by life with a closed thoughts.
All issues are designed to alter and develop, together with our religious beliefs and practices. We’ve the obligation to permit—even to encourage—our coronary heart and soul to evolve. Solely by asking questions of ourselves and being open to development and transformation will we enhance intellectually and technologically from era to era. Rising our soul-understanding works the identical means.
For individuals exterior the church who simply assume the Christian church is predominantly towards LGBTQ+ rights, are you able to inform us about some queer religion leaders we should always learn about?
Zach Lambert, (my pal and straight man who’s an LGBTQIA+advocate)pastor at Restore Austin is cofounder Submit-Evangelical Collective, and writer of Higher Methods to Learn the Bible.
Bishop Yvette Flunder, Presiding Bishop of the Fellowship and senior pastor for the Metropolis of Refuge United Church of Christ.
Guthrie Graves-Fitzsimmons, is a number one voice in calling for a extra simply world beneath the Trump administration by The Resistance Prays.
Professor Anantanand Rambachan, a Trinidadian Hindu-American is Professor of Faith, Philosophy and Asian Research at Saint Olaf School in Minnesota.
Professor Pleasure Ladin, of Yeshiva College is the primary overtly transgender professor at an Orthodox Jewish establishment.
The Rev. Naomi Washington-Leapheart, is an ordained minister affiliated with the Fellowship of Affirming Ministries.
The Rev. Dr. Nancy Petty, is an activist pastor at Pullen Memorial Baptist Church in Raleigh, North Carolina.
Rabbi Denise Eger, president of the Central Convention of American Rabbis.
Urooj Arshad, the director of the Worldwide LGBTQ Youth Well being and Rights Applications at Advocates for Youth.
Rabbi Rachel Timoner, is the senior rabbi of Congregation Beth Elohim, a Reform Jewish congregation in Brooklyn, New York.
Brandan Robertson, an acclaimed evangelical chief working on the intersections of spirituality, sexuality,and social renewal.
How would you push again when individuals within the church say issues like “love the sinner, hate the sin”?
It is very important acknowledge an boastful angle doesn’t originate from our religious facet, even when our egotism convinces us we’re obeying God’s phrase or doing God’s work. Ego’s haughtiness is condescending and sarcastic—“God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” Or “Love the sinner however hate the sin.” Ego loves pithy zingers however hates to be challenged in any depth.
It isn’t God’s will however human judgment that seeks to place another person “of their place.” God solely cares whether or not we behave because the everlasting soul we’re, an envoy of affection who treats all individuals and life as we wish to be handled. And following the Golden Rule means we do the correct factor, even when different individuals select to not.
Why is it necessary that we see extra spiritual leaders take a stand in affirming queer people, particularly younger queer people?
First, spiritual leaders have to be open and prepared to look at and alter their very own beliefs – God is male, ladies are to be subservient, Christianity is God’s chosen faith, individuals of colour are lower than people who find themselves white, wealthy is best than poor, and the record goes on. My ebook asks all of us to have a look at detrimental beliefs that even open and inclusive followers of Jesus cross on as acceptable. They don’t seem to be.
This can be a fantastic line as a result of institutional faith as an entire is the issue because it perpetuates historic beliefs about LGBTQIA+ individuals primarily based on seven clobber verses within the Bible. Once we even have the braveness to teach ourselves to historic practices that have been the premise for Bible verses nonetheless getting used in the present day to form and defend Christians’ judgmental view of homosexuality and extra, then we should admit the entire system wants a drastic overhaul.
The issue for a lot of spiritual leaders is that they imagine the Bible is the infallible phrase of God, with no regard for cultural or historic context. Simply as male, White, Eurocentric scholarship has dominated Biblical interpretation for the previous a number of centuries.
I imagine individuals like me who’re pushing towards your complete perception system of institutional faith are those who should bravely problem everybody within the system to have a look at themselves and what they’re selling within the title of God and Jesus.
That’s what I do in ‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’.
What’s your message to the queer particular person studying your ebook who could also be afraid of popping out to their spiritual household and neighborhood? How would you encourage them to be courageous but in addition prioritize their security?
Ask your self what’s my motivation for sharing? In order for you acceptance in your sexuality, that’s to me, not the correct motivation. If you wish to reside an genuine life, whatever the response you obtain, and are prepared to stroll away out of your spiritual household and neighborhood, then be genuine. We’ve to prioritize our security over our should be accepted by those that are supposed to like us unconditionally.
I share on this ebook that at age eighteen I may not deny who I used to be, so I instructed my dad and mom I used to be homosexual. With the intention of “curing” me, they despatched me to a doctor who sexually molested me. Then I used to be locked in a psychiatric hospital as a result of they thought I used to be depressed. In fact I used to be depressed. I had simply been sexually violated, and the 2 individuals who have been supposed to like me unconditionally instructed me I used to be going to hell and had damaged their hearts.
I’m deeply blessed to share a cheerful ending to this a part of my story, as Mother (who handed away at nearly 100 on August 1, 2024) and Dad (nearly 102) are two of my largest followers and greatest pals. Confronted with the reality of who I used to be born to be, they ultimately got here to a spot of unconditional love by bravely questioning their beliefs. After they did, they discovered like to be stronger than worry. Nevertheless, they could be the exception.
‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have’ gives the speaking factors and ammunition wanted to have significant dialog with anybody who’s respectful and open. It gives acceptance for who we’re as LGBTQIA+ individuals. However we should all the time keep in mind we can’t open the minds of these with closed hearts.
That’s the reason we should encompass ourselves with like-hearted individuals. We should be part of with our Black and brown sisters and brothers, immigrants, followers of different faiths, to be united as highly effective love in motion. This unity will result in lasting optimistic change on this planet.
You should purchase a replica of ‘The Actual Dialog Jesus Desires Us to Have: A Name to Bravery, Peace, and Love’ on Amazon. Be taught extra about Regina’s work on her website, subscribe to her Substack, and comply with her on Facebook and Instagram.
