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President Donald Trump’s executive order banning paper straws is perhaps the most important bi-partisan win of his presidency and to cite former President Joe Biden, “that is not hyperbole.” Let’s face it people, People don’t agree on loads today. Take the Tremendous Bowl halftime present as an example. Some folks thought Kendrick Lamar was superb, others hated it a lot they’d fairly watch a DEI Musical that USAID despatched to Eire.
However on the subject of paper straws, just about all people is aware of they suck, and never in the best way they had been meant to. The president mentioned as a lot, telling onlookers within the Oval Workplace, “These items do not work, I’ve had them many instances, and every so often, they break, they explode. If one thing’s scorching, they do not final very lengthy, like a matter of minutes, generally a matter of seconds. It is a ridiculous scenario.”
Trump’s operating commentary is a giant a part of every signing ceremony, alongside along with his apply of giving freely the pen he used, like a guitarist who throws a pic into the group after shredding a vicious solo at a rock live performance.
First there was Bon Jovi, now there’s DON Jovi.
President Donald Trump ended the push to limit using plastic straws. It was about time. (AP/Getty)
But when ever there was a time for the president to take a stage dive, it is now.
No one likes paper straws and to cite the anti-DOGE Democrats, “we did not vote for this.”
Merely put, they had been forced on the country by environmentalists who used what can greatest be described as sketchy scientific claims, together with one about sharks consuming the plastic straws and choking on them.
Forgive me if I missed the “Jaws” sequel the place they took out the good white with a soda from the McDonald’s drive through, however a minimum of the shark received to style that Tab cola, which was by no means an possibility for these of us people utilizing paper.
Now I do know it wasn’t simply sharks threatened by the plastic. There was an identical declare about turtles, which I’m not an professional on, though I did meet Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., as soon as.
Having mentioned that, there’s nonetheless no logic to help the argument that fish or reptiles is perhaps harmed by plastic, so we should always swap to dissolvable paper as an alternative.
Repeat after me:
If a straw dissolves in liquid, then so do your hopes of having fun with a beverage with one.
But when ever there was a time for the president to take a stage dive, it is now.
It is 10 instances worse when you have youngsters.
Take one stroll by a mall meals courtroom, and you may shortly notice that paper straws are chargeable for extra infantile screaming matches than AOC’s Instagram account.
By no means thoughts the madness that some paper straws are packaged inside plastic rappers, which is like holding an AA assembly inside a Hooters.
There’s additionally the small matter that paper straws value extra to produce, which locations an undue burden on eating places at a time when many research present that straws made out of plant-based supplies have extra dangerous chemical substances than their plastic companions.
President Joe Biden bowed to environmental extremists and foisted the paper straw on People. (Anna Moneymaker)
To be clear, that is an opinion piece, and I am not a local weather professional, though I do fantasize about changing into one sometime so I can fly round in non-public jets.
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However I am fairly certain the one reason Biden signed his executive order banning plastics was as a result of, if something, he thought the paper straws would decelerate the cocaine use within the White Home.
I do know, we by no means did discover out whose booger sugar turned up in that locker. But it surely amazes me to this present day that some Democrats get mad at Trump for having a Food plan Coke button in his White Home when Biden had common coke in his.
No matter which president you voted for, we should always all agree that this newest government order is a YUGE win.
By no means thoughts the madness that some paper straws are packaged inside plastic rappers, which is like holding an AA assembly inside a Hooters.
As a result of in the long run, youngsters can cease throwing karate kicks at their Capri Suns as a result of the straw broke. Mother and father can cease racing to complete frappuccinos earlier than the straw disintegrates. And sure, the local weather crusaders who need to advantage sign one sip at a time can nonetheless use these stainless-steel straws that enable for recycling.
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It is referred to as freedom, folks.
And we will all drink to that.
