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It’s onerous to consider that 2025 is already 1/12 full. We survived the transition from an incoherent placeholder presidency to the brand new America and a brand new president. We endured the worldwide cooling, oops, warming, that introduced snow to Florida and Texas and 11-degree mornings to north Georgia.
January didn’t cease there. It featured the terrifying nightmare of a Dunkin’ Donuts scarcity and the media freakout over the renaming of the Gulf of Mexico into the Gulf of America. Alongside the best way, the world stored getting crazier. Like at all times, the press led the best way. Listed here are a few of the craziest tales from the month passed by:
New media be careful
Lefty Washington Submit columnist Jennifer Rubin introduced she is becoming a member of the mass exodus from the paper and beginning a brand new enterprise known as The Contrarian. (She hasn’t been opposite to the foremost media in years.) She posted a brief (Thank, God!) video with companion Norm Eisen, a CNN authorized analyst. The video was broadly panned as “cringe” and depicted the pair claiming their new outlet can be “an thrilling new on-line platform.” That was stated with all the fervour you get watching milk curdle.
Lefty Washington Submit columnist Jennifer Rubin introduced she is becoming a member of the mass exodus from the paper. (Screenshot/MSNBC)
Eisen added, “[B]ut we all know that any profitable, pro-democracy motion additionally must be very vocal about tradition.” He promised a cooking column, “however we’re gonna sprinkle in a little bit little bit of pro-democracy taste.” NeverTrump cooking classes. Yum!
CRYSTAL BALL NEWS SHOWS 6 WAYS MEDIA WILL WAR WITH TRUMP ONE MORE TIME
It was like watching a combination of an old-school “Saturday Night Live” skit overlaid with the berserk, fake sincerity of NPR. For those who had been making a video to make enjoyable of them, it wouldn’t have been this hilarious.
Don’t quote me
The White Home exes – each President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris – reminded voters of what enjoyable we missed with 4 extra years of both candidate. Biden, who delivered phrase mush for a few years earlier than the press was pressured to confess it, couldn’t deal with the troublesome problem of singing… “Comfortable Birthday.”
Former President Joe Biden and former Vice President Kamala Harris listo to President Donald Trump ship his inaugural tackle on the Capitol, Jan. 20, 2025. (Kenny Holston/The New York Occasions by way of AP, Pool)
The previous prez who, at 82, has presumably heard the tune just a few occasions, nonetheless flubbed it. Apparently, he couldn’t bear in mind the title of the younger visitor named Alicio. When it got here time to muster the title, Biden simply drifted off into Mumble Metropolis. The one factor the video lacked was Alicio going all Walter White and telling Biden, “Say my title.”
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS DONALD TRUMP COOL?
To not be outdone, Harris couldn’t even muster the “Pledge of Allegiance.” She’s sufficiently old at 60 to have attended college when lecturers nonetheless taught it, earlier than the left wrecked American training. Didn’t matter. Despite the fact that she urged the Senate to “be a part of me in pledging allegiance to our flag,” she forgot the flag as quickly as she began. “To the flag” are phrases 4 via six of the pledge, besides when leftists say it.
Let’s simply name that flagging patriotism.
Dunkin’ retailers expertise a doughnut scarcity. (Jeffrey Greenberg/Common Photographs Group by way of Getty Photographs)
Working out of dough
Dunkin’ (Previously Dunkin’ Donuts), one among America’s premier sugar-delivery operations, ran out of… doughnuts (The proper spelling, for the advertising and marketing of us at Dunkin’.) Outages had been reported in New Mexico and Nebraska. Company stated simply 4% of the shops ran out, besides Dunkin’ has 9,500 shops. So, almost 400 shops had no doughnuts and no donuts.
Talking for the doughnut-eating (and Dunkin’-loving) residents of the world. Do higher. Don’t make us discover one other location to spend our dough – or purchase it.
TRUMP’S TRIUMPH: FIRST WEEK PROVES PRESIDENT RIGHT IN ALL THESE WAYS
It’s springtime for…
Longtime readers know my favourite film is the unique “Producers.” It’s an unbelievable comedy that makes enjoyable of Nazis. And now, because of entrepreneur Elon Musk and the laughably leftist media, the film is present occasions.
Musk, together with his attribute, socially awkward introversion, gave his coronary heart to the group at a Trump gathering, thrusting his hand into the air. The media swarmed, creating the primary viral, phony controversy of the Trump Two period. Even the far left Anti-Defamation League, which bashes Nazis for a residing, stated it wasn’t a Nazi salute. Didn’t matter. An unlimited variety of so-called information retailers pretended it was.
Surprise what number of of these making this phony declare are nonetheless driving their Teslas.
Legally blind
Justice is blind, they are saying. It’s additionally fairly silly. Reese Witherspoon, star of the epic legal comedy “Legally Blonde” and its pathetic sequel, ended up on jury responsibility. Kudos to her for refusing to dodge her civic responsibility. However she wasn’t the issue.
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Witherspoon revealed on the “Graham Norton Present” that the opposite jurors “unanimously” selected her as foreman. Why? As a result of they thought she had gone to regulation college, due to a film. OK, admittedly it was Beverly Hills, so mind typically not required. Besides they make the films close by. One may assume they’d know what actors do.
Witherspoon revealed on the “Graham Norton Present” that she was chosen as a jury foreman due to her “Legally Blonde” background. (Getty Photographs)
When the manure hits the fan
Say the word Peta and other people worldwide consider the most-annoying group of Karens conceivable, the type who work for Folks for the Moral Remedy of Animals. What higher technique to finish than to say the group is filled with… manure.
A pair of Peta poo promoters tried to dump a truckload of manure on the headquarters of their opponents – the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, or ASPCA. Solely the manure managers at Peta had their heads of their… truck up to now that they forgot manure freezes. And so they tried the dumping in the course of the peak chilly entrance in Manhattan.
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The end result confirmed a annoyed Peta particular person digging the manure out of the truck mattress like he had been solid in some disturbing remake of “Frozen.” New York’s most interesting locked him and his companion up, whereas a lot of the manure stayed lodged within the truck.
I suppose it’s true, a thoughts is a horrible factor to waste.
